My School
My school is in the east (东边) of the city. It is very beautiful like a park. Let me show you around it.
The school gate faces south (南方). When you go into my school, you can find the school gym on your left. The lab building is behind the school building and the next is the students' dormitory (寝室). If the students' homes are far away from the school they can live here. Behind the gym there is a playground and a swimming pool. We have our P.E. lessons here. Between the sports area and the lab there is a garden with a lot of lovely flowers. The students' cafeteria (自助食堂) is in the corner near the students' dormitory.
There are more than one hundred teachers and two thousand students in the school. They are working hard. I like my school very much.
[点评]本文介绍作者自己的学校,是同学们都十分熟悉的`题材,写起来自然就比较得心应手。本文的优点主要体现在:①开头写得好,除了说明学校的大体位置外,还点出学校的特点like a park。本段最后一句Let me show you around it.更是起到承上启下的作用,自然引出下文。②介绍方位准确。作者将学校的一系列建筑物的布局介绍得一清二楚,而且语言善于变化,如you can find the school gym on your left. ...is behind the school building and the next is...等等。③结尾自然,附带介绍学校师生的情况,符合本文需要。④穿插语言增加亮点。作者在描述学校建筑的位置时,
不时穿插一些相关介绍,不但克服了语言的平淡,而且让他人更好地了解这所学校。⑤语言通顺,表达较为准确。总之,本文是一篇不错的学生习作。