染雾英文搞笑语录 篇一
1. "I'm not lazy, I'm just in energy-saving mode."
2. "I'm on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it."
3. "I put the 'pro' in procrastination."
4. "I'm not clumsy, it's just the floor hates me."
5. "I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right."
6. "I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing."
7. "I'm not short, I'm just concentrated awesome."
8. "I'm not a morning person, I'm a coffee person."
9. "I'm not a control freak, but can I show you the right way to do that?"
10. "I'm not a shopaholic, I'm helping the economy."
英文搞笑语录 篇二
1. "I'm not a smart aleck, I'm just really good at guessing."
2. "I'm not old, I'm just retro."
3. "I'm not a chef, I just love to eat."
4. "I'm not forgetful, I just have a selective memory."
5. "I'm not a hoarder, I'm just sentimental."
6. "I'm not a morning person, I'm just nocturnal."
7. "I'm not a hypochondriac, I just like to be prepared."
8. "I'm not a perfectionist, I'm just perfect."
9. "I'm not a couch potato, I'm just conserving energy."
10. "I'm not a procrastinator, I'm just waiting for the right moment."
英文搞笑语录 篇三
引导语：换一个有趣的学习方法，多一点学习技巧，在欢乐中学习。
其一
1、Moneyisnoteverything.There‘sMastercard&Visa.
钞票不是万能的，有时还需要信用卡。
2、Oneshouldloveanimals.Theyaresotasty.
每个人都应该热爱动物，因为它们很好吃。
3、Savewater.Showerwithyourgirlfriend.
要节约用水，尽量和女友一起洗澡。
4、Lovetheneighbor.Butdon‘tgetcaught.
要用心去爱你的邻居，不过不要让她的老公知道。
5、Behindeverysuccessfulman,thereisawoman.Andbehindeveryunsuccessfulman,therearetwo.
每个成功男人的背后，都有一个女人。每个不成功男人的背后，都有两个。
6、Everymanshouldmarry.Afterall,happinessisnottheonlythinginlife.
再快乐的单身汉迟早也会结婚，幸福不是永久的嘛。
7、Childreninbackseatscauseaccidents.Accidentsinbackseatscausechildren.
后排座位上的小孩会生出意外，后排座位上的意外会生出小孩。
8、"Yourfuturedependsonyourdreams."Sogotosleep.
“现在的梦想决定着你的将来”，所以还是再睡一会吧。
9、Thereshouldbeabetterwaytostartadaythanwakingupeverymorning.
应该有更好的方式开始新一天，而不是千篇一律的在每个上午都醒来。
10、"Hardworkneverkilledanybody."Butwhytaketherisk?"
“努力工作不会导致死亡!”不过我不会用自己去证明。
其二
1、"Workfascinatesme."Icanlookatitforhours!"
“工作好有意思耶!”尤其是看着别人工作。
2、Whentwo‘scompany,three‘stheresult!
两个人的状态是不稳定的，三个人才是
3、Tang Monk/Tang Priest, don’t you know piggy is more valuable than you?
大师兄，你知道吗?二师兄的肉现在比师傅的都贵了。
4、Save water Shower with your girlfriend
要节约用水，尽量和女友一起洗澡。
5、One should love animals They are so tasty
每个人都应该热爱动物，因为它们很好吃。
6、One day I saw a old woman was burning paper money and mumbled : buy funds if you get it.一天看到一位大妈在烧纸，边烧边嘟囔着：收到了全都买基金吧。
7、Money is not everything There‘s Mastercard & Visa
钞票不是万能的，有时还需要信用卡。
8、Love the neighbor But don‘t get caught
要用心去爱你的邻居，不过不要让她的老公知道。
9、Love is photogenic. It needs darkness to develop.
爱情就象照片，需要大量的暗房时间来培养。( 励志天下 www.cnfla.net )
10、If you acts on impulse, you have passions in life, if you always acts on impulse, you don’t know what life is.
还能冲动，表示你还对生活有激情，总是冲动，表示你还不懂生活。
其三
1、Having knowledge likes having pregnant, it takes times to be awareness.
怀才就像怀孕，时间长了才能看出来。
2、God made relatives;Thank God we can choose our friends.
神决定了谁是你的亲戚，幸运的是在选择朋友方面他给了你留了余地。
3、"Hard work never killed anybody." But why take the risk? "
“努力工作不会导致死亡!”不过我不会用自己去证明。
4、"Work fascinates me." I can look at it for hours! "
“工作好有意思耶!”尤其是看着别人工作。
5、The magic of first love is our ignorance that it can ever end.
初恋的魅力是我们的无知，而这种无知终将过去。
6、No love true as love that dies untold.
没有比未露而逝的爱情更真。
7、Money is not everything. There‘s Mastercard & Visa.
钞票不是万能的，有时还需要信用卡。
8、One should love animals. They are so tasty.
每个人都应该热爱动物，因为它们很好吃。
9、Save water. Shower with your girlfriend.
要节约用水，尽量和女友一起洗澡。
10、Love the neighbor. But don‘t get caught.
要用心去爱你的邻居，不过不要让她的老公知道。
其四
1、Behind every successful man, there is a woman. And behind every unsuccessful man, there
are two.
每个成功男人的背后，都有一个女人。每个不成功男人的背后，都有两个。
2、Every man should marry. After all, happiness is not the only thing in life.
再快乐的单身汉迟早也会结婚，幸福不是永久的嘛。
3、The wise never marry, And when they marry they become otherwise.
聪明人都是未婚的，结婚的人很难再聪明起来。
4、Success is a relative term. It brings so many relatives.
成功是一个相关名词，他会给你带来很多不相关的亲戚(联系)。
5、Never put off the work till tomorrow what you can put off today.
不要等明天交不上差再找借口，今天就要找好。
Love is photogenic. It needs darkness to develop.
爱情就象照片，需要大量的暗房时间来培养。 (老外也保守，要摸黑办事，哈哈)
Children in backseats cause accidents. Accidents in backseats cause children.
后排座位上的小孩会生出意外，后排座位上的意外会生出小孩。
"Your future depends on your dreams." So go to sleep.
“现在的梦想决定着你的将来”，所以还是再睡一会吧。
