染雾Conversations are a big part of our everyday lives. And whether you think of yourself as a world-class communicator or as someone who would rather just send an email than deal with face-to-face chatter, chances are you have at least a few bad communication habits that are driving people crazy.
谈话是我们日常生活中的一大部分，无论你认为自己是一位世界级的沟通大师，还是宁愿发邮件也不愿面对面地交谈。不过很有可能，谈话时你的一些坏习惯会让人抓狂。
1.Multitasking.
1.同时处理多项任务。
Conversations deserve your full attention -- and not just the halfhearted glances you're willing to give them when you manage to rip your focus away from your iPhone screen.
谈话时你需要全神贯注----不要只是当你从手机屏幕上转移注意力时，你才愿意半心半意的瞥他们一眼。
Multitasking is a habit we're likely all guilty of. But you need to be present for your conversations, no matter how menial or futile they may seem. That means no scrolling through your email or subconsciously thinking about your grocery list. Give your conversational partners the attention they deserve.
同时执行多重任务，是我们都很容易养成的坏习惯。然而你要参与到对话中，不管谈话是多么的乏味或无用。那样意味着，你不能从头到尾滚动读一遍你的电子邮件，亦或不知不觉就思考你的购物清单。请给予谈话对象他们应得的注意力。
2.Waiting instead of listening.
2.等待而不是倾听。
As my mom always loves to tell me, "There's a big difference between hearing and listening!" And when you're having a conversation with someone, you should be actively listening.
正如我的妈妈总是喜欢告诉我，“听到和倾听之间是有很大的区别的!” 当你和某人谈话时，你应该积极地倾听。
That means you're not just staying silent while thinking of your next point and waiting for your chance to talk again. Instead, you're engaged in what that person is explaining. Trust me -- people can tell when you're tuning them out.
这意味着你在思考下一个观点并等待机会再次交谈时，不能只是保持沉默。相反，你要开始投入到对话中。相信我----别人会告诉你什么时候可以说出来。
3.Using filler words.
3.使用赘词。
"Hey, Jason. Umm ... I'm just checking in on that, uhhh ... report to see if you think you'll, like, have that done by the end of the day."
“嗨，詹森。嗯……我正在检查那个，额……报告……看看你是否喜欢，能在今天结束前做好。”
You knew this one had to make it onto the list somewhere. This is perhaps one of the toughest bad habits to break. We're all so used to littering our sentences with these unnecessary words -- it's like a nervous tic for most of us. But make your best efforts to cut them out. Your conversations will be much cleaner and more polished.
要知道，这一点是必须被记在失礼行为的清单上的。这或许是其中一个最难改掉的坏习惯了。我们都习惯说话时加上这些没用的词----对于我们大多数来说，这就像许多人紧张时不断重复的口头禅。我们要尽量避免使用他们，这样你们之间的谈话就会更精炼、简洁。
4.Using qualifiers.
4.使用修饰性词汇。
"Don't take this personally, but..."; "This might be a bad idea, but..."; or "I know what you're thinking, but..."
“不要以为我是在针对你，但是……”，“这可能是个坏主意，但是……”，或者“我知道你在想什么，但是……”。
Qualifiers exist for nearly every situation. But if you have the tendency to overuse them, you may be driving people up a wall. Why? Well, while these prefacing statements might seem like a great way to sugarcoat your sentences, they often just come off as condescending and unnecessary.
几乎每个地方都会用到修饰性词汇，但如果你过度使用修饰性词汇，就会使别人非常生气。为什么呢?用这些开场白修饰你的话，看起来是一个很好的办法，但其往往只会给别人带来一种居高临下和没有必要的感觉。
5.Constantly interrupting.
5.总是打断别人。
We all have one thing in common when talking: We want to be listened to. So if you're one of those people who tend to jump in and interrupt or -- even worse -- try to complete people's sentences for them, you need to keep yourself in check.
在谈话的时候，我们所有人都有一个共同点：我们都想要被倾听。所以，如果你常常去插话、打断别人或是更糟----比如想要说完他们的话，你就需要控制好你自己。
You might think your constant interjections are a way to show your level of engagement. But they really just make you a conversational bulldozer.
或许你觉得不断的插话可以展示你的互动程度，但是这只会让你成为谈话中的欺凌者。
6.Equating your experiences.
6.将你的经历等同于别人。
Tell me if this situation sounds familiar: Someone is explaining a difficult problem he's currently facing. You immediately retort with "I know exactly how you feel!" and then launch into your own long-winded tale of a time you experienced something that's not even the least bit similar.
请告诉我下面这种情况听起来是不是很熟悉：某个人正在说他面临的一个难题，你马上就回嘴“我知道你的感受!”，然后就开始你自己的长篇大论，哪怕你说的经历与他那个没有一丁点儿相似。
It's important to remember that human experiences are all different. Your attempts to show empathy are admirable. But in most cases, you're better off just listening and lending support.
重要的是你要记住，每个人的经历都是不同的。你试图表现出感同身受是一件好事。但在大多数情况下，你最好只是倾听和给予支持。
7.Floundering.
7.言语错乱。
We've all had to deal with those people who seem to just ramble on endlessly without a point -- those people who appear to be talking simply because they like the sound of their own voices.
我们都遇见过，有些人说话似乎没有中心，东拉西扯地说个没完----那些人好像一直在浅显地谈论，因为他们喜欢听他们自己的声音。
Needless to say, you don't want to garner this reputation for yourself by constantly chiming in without a clear purpose. When you do decide to speak up, make sure that you're prepared to be clear and concise. That's the mark of a skilled communicator.
不用说，你肯定不想自己因为无目的地不断插嘴而得到这样的名声。所以在你决定发言时，请确保自己准备说的话是清晰简洁的。这才表现你谈话很有技巧。
8.Avoiding direct contact.
8.避免直接接触。
I'm a big fan of the convenience of email and text messages. However, if you've ever dealt with someone who took the time to write out a lengthy message for something he or she could have easily explained to you in person in as few as two sentences, you know how frustrating that can be.
我特别喜爱电子邮件和手机短信的便利性。然而即便如此，如果你曾经遇到某个人花时间写了一条很长的消息给你，而这个消息其实他(她)本可以当面用两句话就能容易地向你解释清楚，你就会
The never-ending assortment of communication tools available today has made us all a little less willing to actually talk to one another. So before hitting send on a message, ask yourself if this is something that could be done more efficiently in person or over the phone. You'll save yourself (and the person on the receiving end!) a lot of headaches.
如今不断推陈出新的通讯工具随处可得，使得我们已不大愿意和别人真诚的交谈。因此，在发送一条短信之前，问问你自己是当面说更有效，还是在手机上发短信好些。这样就给你自己(和接收端的那个人)免了许多头疼的事情。
Breaking a bad habit isn't always easy. But channel your energy into removing these faux pas from your conversations and you're sure to be a better communicator.
改掉坏习惯并不是件容易的事情，但是当你投入精力从你的谈话中去除这些失礼行为后，你就一定能成为一个更好的沟通者。
