染雾英语幽默笑话精选 篇一
Why did the math book look sad?
Because it had too many problems.
What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A gummy bear.
Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?
It was two tired.
How does a penguin build its house?
Igloos it together.
Why did the scarecrow win an award?
Because he was outstanding in his field.
What do you call a fish wearing a crown?
A kingfish.
Why was the belt arrested?
For holding up a pair of pants.
What do you call cheese that isn't yours?
Nacho cheese.
Why did the tomato turn red?
Because it saw the salad dressing.
What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire?
Frostbite.
英语幽默笑话精选 篇二
Teacher: Why are you late?
Student: There was a man who lost a hundred dollar bill.
Teacher: That's very nice of you to help him find it.
Student: Not really, I stood on it until he gave up looking.
Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants?
In case he got a hole in one.
Why do bees have sticky hair?
Because they use honeycombs.
Why was the baby strawberry crying?
Because its parents were in a jam.
What did the grape say when it was stepped on?
Nothing, it just let out a little wine.
Why did the cookie go to the doctor?
Because it was feeling crumbly.
What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?
Supplies!
Why did the math book look so sad?
Because it had too many problems.
What do you call a fake noodle?
An impasta.
Why was the broom late?
It swept in.
英语幽默笑话精选 篇三
英语幽默笑话：出什么问题了
What was wrong ?
出什么问题了？
When I moved to California, I was a nervous wreck about earthquakes. MY friend Lisa, who was born and raised there, was completely blase. I remember once when we pulled up to a light, her Honda began to shake.She looked worried untill stammered，"I think that we-re having anearth quake.”"Thank goodrx}ss,"Linda said.I thought something was wrong with my car."
当我刚搬到加州住的时候，我对地震极为紧张。而我那位在加州土生土长的朋友丽莎却对此完全无动于衷.我记得有一次我们在等红灯的时候，她的本田车开始抖动起来。她看起来很担心，直到我结结巴巴地说：“我想我们是碰到地震了。“她立刻松了一口气说道，“谢天谢地，我还以为是我的车出问题了。”
英语幽默笑话：肉食部
The meat department
肉食部
My office is in a building remodeled from a former supermarket.
我的办公室设在由超市改装过的一座大厦里。
One day I overheard the receptionist gI、 ting directions over the phone. "Remember the old grocery store?n she asked thecaller. "You‘¨find us in the meat dopartment.“
有一天，我听见前台秘书在电话里描述我们的位置。她说：“记得老杂货店吗？你能在肉食部找到我们。”
单词&词组
direction light 向灯
optimist 乐观主义者
perimist 悲观主义者
brag about 对…自夸：吹嘘…
observe 观察：研究
outfit 全套装备，全套工具
remodel 比重建
department 部，部门
知道不知道
汽车部件名词术语
引擎盖-bonnet：hood
后备箱- boot；trunk
挡泥板-mudflap
轮胎- tyre：tire
后视镜（车内中央，矩形的）- rearview mirror
方向盘-steering wheel
安全带-seat belt
变速杆（排挡）-gear shift，shift lever
手刹车-hand-brake lever
脚刹车（踏板）-brake pedal
油门（踏板）-accelerator pedal
离合器（踏板）-clutch pedal
英语幽默笑话故事：百万富翁
那些妙趣横生的英语幽默故事
Millionaire
百万富翁
CEO: "My wife made a millionaire out of me."
CEO：我妻子使我成为百万富翁。
Assistant: "What were you before?“
助手：以前你是什么？
CEO:”a multimillionaire.“
CEO：千万宣翁。
英语笑话故事：心不在焉的丈夫
An absent-minded husband
心不在焉的丈夫
I was accompanying my husband on a business trip. He carried his portable computer with him, and the guard at the airport gate asked him to open the case. It was locked, and the man waited patiently as my embarrassed spouse struggled to remember the combination. At last he succeeded.
我陪丈夫一起出差，他带着他的笔记本电脑。到了机场出口处时， 有位检查员要他打开包。但是包锁上了，机场工作人员耐心地等着我那窘迫的丈夫设法回想起暗锁的密码。最后他终于想起来了。
“Why are you so nervous?"I asked him.
”你为什么那么紧张呢？“我问他。
"The numbers are the date of our annivorsary．my husband confessed.
“密码是我们的结婚纪念日。”他承认道”
双语笑话 干脆不来了
One moming a colleague said，"I need to leave early tomorrow That aftemoon he followed up with, "Looks like l'll be coming in late tomorrow,but if my coming in late runs into myIeaving early,then I won't be in at all."
一天上午，一个同事说："明天我要早一点走。“当天下午他又补充说：“看来我明天要晚一点来。但是，如果我要来得晚，又得早走的话，那我明天干脆不来了
英语笑话：飞行员会飞吗
Can pilots fly?
飞行员会飞吗？
The Great Lakes Laboratoryemployed a licensed boat captain for its research vessel.It was common knowledge that the captain couldn't swim. When newcomers learned of this,they would often aproach him about jt,"ls it true ？ You,a boat captain, can't swim ? ""No,I can't!"he replied. "Can pilots fly?"
五大潮实验室雇用一位有执照的船长驾驶研究用的船。大家都知道这个船长下会游泳。当新来的人知道这事以后，他们常常会去问他：“这是真的吗？身为船长你不会游泳？一他回答说："对，我不会！飞行员会飞吗？”
单词＆词组
nowhere 不在任何地方：任何地方都不
argument 争执；理由
budge 改变主意；让步
pasture 牧场；牧草；放牧
marriage 婚姻；（喻）结合
colleague 同事，同行
gas station 加油站
noticeable 面明显的，值得注意的
veSSel 船，舰，容器
approach 接近，交涉，通路，途径
pilot 飞行员，驾驶，带领
知道不知道
五大湖( Great Lakes)是位于加拿大与美国交界处的5座大型淡水湖泊，按面积从大到小分别为：苏必利尔湖( Lake Superior)、休伦湖( Lake Huron)、密歌根湖(Lake Michigan)、伊利湖(LakeErie)和安大略湖(Lake Ontario)o除密歇根湖全属于美国之外，其他四湖为加拿大和美国共有。这五个湖泊所组成的五大湖是世界上最大的没水水域，总面积达245,660平方公里，有北美洲地中海之称。
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